no day but today

"i'm going to die tonight. what would be the best thing to do with the rest of my time?"

tibetan buddhism (of the vajrayana school) places a great importance in death and re-birth and impermanence, after all, buddhists big time preoccupation is reincarnation. they have a practice called “9-point death meditation” which presupposes two things - (1) it is only by recognising how precious and how short life is that we are most likely to make it meaningful and to live it fully, and (2) by understanding the death process and familiarizing ourself with it, we can remove fear at the time of death and ensure a good rebirth.

but what would be running in our minds when we hear the word death? probably a car careening a highway that suddenly crashes into you, a host of tubes connected to you and a machine, relatives crying at your side, and then a flatline. but this is totally not what it’s all about. this is more like waking up in the morning and staying in bed for a while, and without opening your eyes ask yourself: "i'm going to die tonight. what would be the best thing to do with the rest of my time?"

which is eerily similar to this quote from steve jobs:

for the past 33 years, i have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "if today were the last day of my life, would i want to do what i am about to do today?" and whenever the answer has been "no" for too many days in a row, i know i need to change something. - steve jobs, 2005 stanford commencement speech

if i was as obstinate as i was a few years back, i would have gone bungee-jumping at the kakum national park, or do 1,000 cartwheels and tumblings going home from office, hitchhike thru western africa from nigeria to morocco, or repaint my whole house with stucco white or landscape my garden into something asian inspired. but the death meditation practice has to be done on a regular basis, over an extended period of time - and that's when it has its strongest effect. one result you’ll find comes pretty quickly is that you streamline your life: you cut out the things that you own or do that slow you down...

if you were really going to die tonight, would you sit and read through and reply to all the junk emails in your 5 web-based email addresses, update your profile in friendster, hi5 and myspace? would you really surf thru the 1,000 channels in your cable tv looking desperately for anything of even minor interest? would you still go out and spend an hour or two at lunch or dinner, gossiping about the other people. decide then: if not on the day i die, then not now either. because, frankly, it may really be today.

i read these words last night.

i did the death meditation this morning, the morning of my birthday. i did not have an intense desire to beam myself to the hagia sophia in istanbul (i'm an ancient civilization junkie) or scale the big cristo redentor in corcovado, rio de janeiro, or run with the bulls in pamplona, or trek the camino de santiago or bask in the glow of the tagaytay highlands at dawn. you'll say this is only because i've already done a lot of exotic or biochemical fueled adventures. yes. run around north labone, accra, check. run fifty-milers weaving through mountain ridges, facing oceans and fjords, check. run off to milan, kuala lumpur, vienna, bangkok, port louis, mauritius, nagoya, frankfurt, siwa, egypt, check. run through mud-hut villages, hidden serene waterfalls, fern chocked valleys, check. yes - and no. with all i've done there was still...well, more i wanted.

or was it less?

i have so many concurrent projects (work- and life-related) that i am attending to at this time. the practical me wants to just do everything all at the same time. but i always ask myself if i can finish the projects as if they were the last thing i have to do. something that would leave a mark. something that would be remembered me by like a “landmark case.”

there's a few things i won't get to by tonight. beginning the book on economic diplomacy between africa and asia. that won't go away or this new book on global negotiations that i bought last may and is still in it’s plastic cover. that's ok. but i could weed the garden. better yet transplant the old gardenia near my dining room or prune the birds of paradise. today.

i won't get to it all today, but i get a chance to die again. i hope.

i’m checking out 43 things, a social tagging for life goals. my list is not very long, but i have created a few: live passionately, read 'le petite prince' in french, stay in a tibetan monastery, become an early riser, write a book and have it published, learn to salsa, speak spanish fluently, learn more about personal finance and investment, go to dharamsala and meet the dalai lama and make love on a beach ala “from here to eternity.”

and as the popular broadway musical put it: no day but today!